Our Countdown

Well everyone I swore I was not gonna post a silly countdown like you see on PTO. But here I am counting. 14 DAYS TO GO!!! My mind is going crazy with excitement yet I am so scared all at the same time. Chance has been gone for 3 1/2 years. It is going to be so crazy getting use to each other again. You would think after 6 yrs and a child together I wouldnt be nervous...BUT man I feel soooo nervous, my stomach just gets butterflies and my palms start sweating ( happens every time I get nervous) just thinking about a 4 hour drive alone with him. Also, I am real worried about what he is going to do for work. Hopefully something will come his way pretty soon after he gets here. Seems like everything else will be fine if he can just find a job. The kids have no idea he is coming back to Baltimore so I bet they are going to be so excited when they get to see him here. We are hoping to get to go out to eat together as a family either the day he gets here or the next day. Sorry I'm just rambling on, can't sleep with the way my mind is racing.

one down, 17 to go

well, i made it thru the first month. 17 to go. (or less). thigs have been bearable, until i lost my job this week. with 2 little ones to take care of and a house..it's not going to be easy. trying to keep my head up and looking for another job. I have an interview on tuesday.
I did do something positive this week tho. I contacted someone to get some counseling and support. I will be assigned a caseworker who will help me find resources to deal finacially and otherwise.
My family is kind of far from me and my parents are older and not in good health. I have one sister and an aunt who keep in touch by phone, but i'm feeling pretty alone right now. His family helps with baby sitting, but now that i don't have a job, there is no need for them to babysit. I haven't and am not able to tell my parents about my job loss yet. mom had a stroke a few weeks ago and can't take the stress and dad has so much to worry about as it is.
although at first i thought i was going to blame the hubby for all my misfortune, it turns out i'm actually missing him more and wishing him home. I wanted to go visit this weekend, but until i know his visitor list is in the computer i won't, coz it's just too tough on the boys to sit and wait, so i'm planing a trip to M'gntwn next weekend.
Wishing all of you helath and happiness.

sue

Returning to life after prison

Well I have promised you guys an update. Well, this phase is not as easy as we all invision. I have ran our house for the past 17 months. It is my house. It is ran by my rules. It is run on my schedule. Mike remembers the house he left and the family he left. He left 1st, 4th, and 11th graders. He came home to 3rd and 6th graders, and a young man preparing to leave to serve our country. He was the man of the house, and he will return to that role. It just doesn't happen when they walk out of the facility like we invision. It takes a lot of communication, which is the one skill we developed while he was in Morgantown. You have to be honest with what you are feeling and look at why when he opens the shed and is in shock because it isn't the way he left it. You have to talk about those feelings of his shock and your feelings of his intrusion into what is now your shed. When he asks why is my drill moved, that's not where I left it? It's okay that you needed to repair something and used his tools. But just like we feel that he is intruding on our space; he feels that we did not respect his space while he was gone. He was the man of the house. I can't wait till he returns to that role 100 percent. It does not happen just because he pulls in the driveway. It is going to take a lot of work and strong communication by all of us. With love, faith, and support of friends and family it will happen.

Corrlinks

www.corrlinks.com

CorrLinks is a way for family and friends to communicate with their loved ones incarcerated in prison. Established through a relationship between a corrections agency and ATG, this system allows family and friends to subscribe to the CorrLinks services and send money or email messages to the institution.
When the corrections agency subscribes to CorrLinks' two-way mail service, the inmate receives the message on a computer within the prison. They are able to read, print and respond to messages electronically. All messages are delivered to the sending family/friends via Internet email. The inmates do not receive access to the Internet.
When the corrections agency subscribes to CorrLinks' one-way mail service, the institution prints and delivers the messages via internal mail services. The sending family member does not need to write/print or mail the message and wait for USPS deliery.
Certain agencies also allow inmates to receive money electronically. CorrLinks makes this possible by providing friends and family with access to Western Union's vast network of agents and website, enabling them to send money quickly and easily to the institution. In most cases, money is deposited from CorrLinks to the institution within 24 hours.

First time visitor

I am going to visit a friend in a couple of weeks.I am unsure what to expect.Any suggestions? He is in williamsburg FCI in South Carolina.What are the visiting rooms like? What do you have to go through to get in? How early should I be there? Any help is appreciated

HW House

My son was recently released from MT to a HW house. As usual the BOP threw us a curve ball and sent him to the next state over from us instead of MA where we live, but it is only 1/2 hr drive. The HW house is extremely restrictive. They are basically not allowed to leave except to look for work or go to their counseling sessions. They are assigned chores, but for instance when his chore was to take out the trash, he had to wait for a staff member to watch him walk out to the trash can. They are not allowed cell phones or internet access. They are required to look for a job, but the only way to do that is through the "help wanted" ads in the paper, or go through the yellow pages in the phone book and call to see if a place is hiring. They have to use the house payphone to make their calls. They have to take the bus to the interview. The HW house first calls to verify that the place is hiring, and then calls again to see if the inmate went to the interview. If you do get a job, you cannot leave the job site and the HW house calls twice a day to see if you are there. Prior to going to M'town, my son was working at the family business which has been in business for over 50 years, but the BOP said he could not work for family, so he could not go back to that job. Once you do get a job, 25% of your pay goes to the HW house, even if you are released to home confinement. The visiting hours are 2 hrs on Sat and 2 hrs on Sun with only 5 approved visitors allowed on your list. The list cannot be amended for 90 days, and every visitor is contacted by the HW house to verify their address, phone number and relationship. There is virtually nothing to do there except watch TV or read. They are allowed one hour of "recreation" from 7-8PM at which time they can go outside and stand in the driveway or shoot hoops through a basket that has no net. They are "counted" every TWO hours during the day, and have to go to their rooms and stand in the doorway until they are counted. During the night, a staff member comes into their rooms with a flashlight every hour to make sure they are in bed. There is an intercom system for announcements, and the staff can also tune into the rooms to eavesdrop on the inmates. We were so anticipating his release to the HW house, but this part of his sentence seems to be the worst. Well, as usual we are living "one day at a time" and trying to concentrate on the good instead of dwelling on the bad, since we are that much closer to the end of this life trial. As more news becomes available, I will post.

New Link

I have started a new blog. It is where I am going to post FAQs. We seem to answer the same questions over and over as new members arrive. I hope this will help our new members. If anyone can think of questions that need to be answered, let me know. It would be appreicated if you guys would let me know if you have different answers. I am in no way an expert, and have not had every experience there is to have. Click on FAQ's on the left and it will take you to the new page.

Writing Regional

We are willing to write regional when something doesn't go our way, or they violate policy. I was talking with Melanie on the way home tonight and she was telling me that Shaw was in rare form today. She said that poor Hillberry was his gopher all day, my words not hers. I don't how the rest of you feel but Hillberry is a very good guy. I don't think he gets the recognition he deserves. I think he also protects us and the guys as much as possible from Shaw. Kim O. share the address to regional, I know you have it, so those of you that want to can write and say something good for a change, I think he deserves it.

Advice Needed!!

Here's the deal, I submitted my visiting form over a month ago and still have not heard anything. Yesterday I called to the institution to find out what was going on, well lets just say that the the lady I spoke with was no help at all. She said that Mike needs to get with his counselor to see if its been approved or not. We have already tried that, all that his counselor said was that he would get to it when he could. This is a little frustrating, I am in California and he is in Virginia. I am trying to plan a trip to Virginia but its impossible to do without an answer on my visiting form. I called once before and was able to leave a message for his counselor, but of course I never received a call back. I have considered calling the warden but I don't want to ruffle any feathers and make Mikes stay there anymore difficult then it has to be. He should be up for transfer to an FCI within the next couple of months. If approved he will be one step closer to home. Does anyone have any recommendations? Please help if you do. Thanks and god bless.

Stacey

humor

ok, so i listened to the advise i got....didn't take anything in, but got there early enough so we didn't have to wait too long. arrived at 4:45 tonight, got called back around 5:20. thats when the FUN began. they still don't have his visitor's list on the computer (3 weeks) so we waited, and waited. finally around 6:00 they called me over to the guard's desk and told me that it's his own fault that his group counselor or whatever didn't put it in. He said he did what he was supposed to. (I know my hubby and its quite possible he didn't) I had been so excited to go, but the wait there with 2 feisty kids changed my mood, probably not so much as the guard telling me repeatedly that I needed to tell hubby it was his own fault.

We waited in the play room.
My son dropped his bottle of orange pop, so i opened it for him. I thought it was fine, but it ended up overflowing and all the orange pop (soda) went right down on my pants at the crotch and i looked like i wet myself.

The door said that children must be with an adult, but there were a nice handfull of kids and I was the only adult. So I let that bother me too. There was one child who wanted to call all the shots, who was allowed to play what, etc. The other ones were actually being real good. But I let that one little one get to me..LOL .

She asked my son "what did YOUR dad do?" when he told her he had taken some money from a company he worked for, she gasped. The other little girl (who i absolutely loved) said..."well some people do that"....the first one
proceeded to tell him and the other kids that her dad didn't do anything bad, he just hung around some guys who did drugs. then she said...what are drugs anyway? LOL. it was interesting to hear the kid's responses. (she was maybe 6). my son told her drugs are like cigarettes, and another girl agreed. then she told him that isnt true coz her mom smokes cigarettes and my son told them I did too. they all looked at me and asked me if cigarettes were a drug. UGGG. Didn't know I was going to be giving a class about that!!! i just explained that cigs are legal but yes drugs were sort of like that. didn't want to get into too much detail.

He finally came out at 6:30, but we had to leave about 7:20 because he had to go get his meds and the med line ends at 7:30 or something. I was just so agrivated by that point the visit seemed in vain.

now...the funniest part. He has a disability...bad hands due to a special kind of arthritis. No, thats not the funy part. The funy part is that they finally gave him a paying job. He is the official DUCK Chaser!!!! They gave him a paddle/oar and its his job to chase the ducks away from the building entrances in his unit.

so not quite the perfect visit i had in mind. I'm trying to find some humor in it. The way I figure, I can laugh about it or cry. Trying to keep laughing.

by the way, after I got home, I washed the orange soda off of me :)

here's hoping the rest of you get a better visit than I did today.

Sue

Introduction

Just thought I would say hello. Glad to see I'm not alone in this. My hubby, Gary, just went to Morgantown on July 30. His sentence is 18 mos. He tells me that he will get 90 days off of that plus spend the last 70 days in a HWH real close to home.
I'm having trouble adjusting to life as a somewhat single parent. Dependant on his family, now as mine is so far away. Over the past few years our relationship with his family had becomed strained, and now I NEED them to help with the kids so I can keep the house, etc.
He has a 17 yr old son who lives with my in-laws, and we have an 8 yr old and a 3 yr old together.
My mom and my mother-in-law both keep telling me and him that he shouldn't be calling home, because it's wasting money. They don't know how important these calls are to both him and me. I'm having a rough time, since no one here really understands how I feel. I'm looking forward to getting to know the group and wish you all love and patience.

Sue

best email in the world!

I got this this afternoon!

Inmate 50802056 - DELMONTE, MICHAEL J no longer has access to the Trust Fund Limited Inmate Computer System; therefore, he/she may not send or receive messages.El preso 50802056 - DELMONTE, MICHAEL J ya no tiene acceso al sistema de computadora limitada de presos del fondo fiduciario; por lo tanto, el/ella no puede enviar o recibir mensajes.

Doves

Yes my Doves are almost touching. This is very bitter sweet for me. I am beyond excited and cannot wait to pick mike up. But I also know that this is my last trip to M'town and my communication with you guys will be reduced to phone, email, and blog. I could not have gotten through this without all of you at one point or another.

Kim H.

You did for me and set the example on what I needed to do for others. What got this whole group started was Kim talking with me one night for two or three hours in April 08. She is the one who explained visitation in great detail. Met me in M'town for my first visit. Met my family with open arms and made an unbearable situation bearable.


I have made great friends, friends that I hope I will have for many years to come. If any of you make a trip to the coast of NC, you better contact me!!!! If you look at map of NC I live on the second river from the top. I love to go to the outer banks, so if that is your destination for vacation let me know. I hope to see each of you in the future. I am from Lansing, MI and Mike is from Buffalo, NY so we make trips north also. The next time we are headed north I will let you guys know.

Civil Trial

My loved one was shot by the Modesto Police Department the night he was arrested. He has filed a civil suit against them. His trial date is set to begin on October 20, 2009. If he wins this trial it could make a huge impact on his current sentence of 30 years. Please keep us in your prayers. I will keep everyone posted. Thank you and God Bless.

LeeAnn

LeeAnn,
Your doves will be kissing in less than 45 hours...I am soooo happy for you, Mike and the kids...You have done so much for all of us...This situation drove me totally insane, I had no idea how I would survive another day through this. Then I met you...You have been such a great friend and just wonderful all together...Although I wish I never had to live through the mess, I am very thankful that I have I had the honor of having you along my side as we traveled this crazy roller coaster together...I wish the best for your family...Looking forward to us working together to help our men get their lives back.
Love,
Melanie

September 7

Has anyone noticed that WVU has a home football game Labor Day weekend? Hotels are going to be at a premium. If anyone finds a good deal pass it along.

Angel Project

Mike told me that they are having the guys sign-up for the angel project. The angel project is a project done by churches local to us, the families. The guys fill out a form with our address, children and ages and the churches make sure that our children get gifts from Dad at Christmas. I am not sure if all facilities participate, but it is worth asking. At M'town they need to ask their counselor.

HWH

Tina called me last night and she gave some tips. I will try to remember everything she shared. Their phone and email accounts are turned off around 1:00 the day before they are released. So there was no way for John to know that she had arrived safely in Morgantown the night before. They gave them an extra hour longer than mapquest said it would take to get there. She said that they told them that pickup was between 7:30 and 8:00. They do not walk them out to the guard shack until 8:00. They drove straight there with very short quick stops and got there with 10 minutes to spare. The guys are not allowed to drive. Once there, they allowed him to leave at 5:00 for a "hygiene pass". They had to return with a receipt from a local store dated that day. They were allowed to grab something to eat. They were not suppose to go to a private residence or establishment that had alcohol. They were not allowed to bring food or alcohol back. It takes two weeks for orientation and home confinement paperwork at the fastest. It takes five days to get cleared for driving privliages. They have to approve the place of employment. Visitation hours at their facility are 9-11 a.m. on Saturday and 1-3 on Sunday. They can ask for passes to dinner or lunch on the weekends. Cell phones and laptops are not allowed. The phones are pay phones. It costs $1.00 for ten minutes for a local call. They can not receive phone calls. The food is better.

As we each go through this step of the process if we share our experiences we will be able to determine what is standard and what is unique to each facility.

Big Month

Well August is full of mile stones for our group.

Ms. Barbara and D.R.
You are in my thoughts and prayers as Monday approaches. All the guys that have gone ahead of you say that once sentancing is over a huge weight is lifted off your shoulders. I pray this is true for you. Please let us know how it goes.

Tina
Tuesday you get to bring your beloved John to HWH. Enjoy your drive together, and let us know how HWH works. You are the first ones to experience it. We all know that each one is different, but as the stories come in we will be able to figure out what is the same HWH to HWH.

Me and Mike,
I get to pick up mike on the 18th, two weeks after John and Tina. I will keep you all updated.

Zonir,
Your Dad reports the 25th. It will be fine, feel free to call. Ask any questions you have, we will be glad to answer them. We all had the same questions.

Mel and Chance,
You guys reach 30 days left this month. It seems that the calendar stops moving this last month. But at the same time it is over before you know it.

While each of us reaches our milestones and the others watch, it puts each of closer to the end of the sentances we are serving. None of us are serving a life sentance, we all have a release date. As we all know this is a situation that will effect all of us for the rest of our lives until HR 1529 Second Chance Act of 2009 expungement for non-violent first time ex-offenders is passed. Please call, write, and email your represntatives about this legislation. Just as you would regional or the warden about liquid soap, toys in the toy room, meals, showers, visitation regulations, heat or air in the units, coats, the vending machines, and the list goes on and on. If you would complain about those things that will only effect you and your family for the short term, why not something that will effect you for the rest of your lives?